Landlord demands to inspect woman's apartment after she refuses 'mandatory' monthly maid, she insists her husband is on video call when he visits: 'My privacy is being invaded'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 20, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Everyone has the right to privacy in their own home.

Whether you own your property or rent it, the point remains that outside of exceptional circumstances, you are right to expect that you can enjoy living where you live without any unwelcome interruptions.

In many places, this expectation is backed up by the law, but it is not the same everywhere—and no matter where they live, tenants are the most vulnerable to having their personal space disrupted, thanks to nosy or overbearing landlords. 

Unfortunately, there is a subset of people who rent out properties who can't accept that a lack of complaints and getting the rent paid on time usually means that there is nothing to worry about. It is understandable not to want a property you own to fall into a state of disrepair, but that does not make it OK to be forceful in monitoring a tenant who is not doing anything wrong.

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  • a woman wearing a jumpsuit and wedge sandals crouches in front of a terracotta colored wall with her face in her hand
    via steph washi

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • After a recent move to a different country, one woman found herself struggling with her landlord's attempts to monitor the property she was renting. First, he insisted on a maid coming to the apartment every month, who turned out to be his aunt, and who had not been put into the contract. After she refused this, he insisted on coming to the property himself for an inspection.

    He also had a habit of ignoring her husband when they took calls together, who was a co-tenant but frequently worked abroad. She decided she wanted him on video call during the inspection for some backup, but she worried that this was taking things too far.

  • Am I wrong for refusing my landlord's 'mandatory' maid and insisting my husband join our calls?

    I (F20s) recently moved into a furnished studio apartment in the Caribbean. My husband is a co-tenant on the lease but is currently working abroad, so I am here alone most of the time. I work from home and have a very strict schedule.
    via Elegant_Minute9236
  • The Conflict: Since I moved in, my landlord (let's call him J) has been pushing for a "mandatory" monthly maid service. When I checked my lease, it says he pays for a maid, but it never says I am required to let her in. When I questioned him, J admitted it was an
    via Elegant_Minute9236
  • "oversight" and not actually in the contract. I later found out the "maid" is actually his aunt. I feel like this is a "spy mission" to check up on me because he keeps telling me stories about how the "last tenants broke a light switch."
    via Elegant_Minute9236
  • a man wearing glasses sits on a couch next to a slightly open window, using his laptop
    via Carlos Gil

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Because I refused the maid, J now insists on coming in personally every month for "inspections." I told him that was fine, but since my husband is on the lease and pays the rent, I requested that J include him in our group chat and all discussions.
    via Elegant_Minute9236
  • J has been completely ignoring my messages about my husband. He won't reply to him in the group chat and only tries to message me privately. He also has his read receipts off, so I never know if he's seen my concerns about the broken washing machine (which hasn't worked right since day one).
    via Elegant_Minute9236
  • Where I might be the asshole: J is coming over this Thursday to "inspect" the place. I've decided to have my husband on a permanent video call the entire time J is in my house so he can't corner me or ignore my husband's presence. I also have a security camera running inside the apartment because I'm nervous he's going to go through my personal drawers (where my underwear/clothes are) under the guise of "checking the furniture."
    via Elegant_Minute9236
  • I feel like I'm being "difficult" by refusing the help of a maid and forcing a video call, but I also feel like my privacy is being invaded. AITA for setting these boundaries when the landlord claims he's just "protecting his property"?
    via Elegant_Mnute9236
  • an apartment living room with gray couch, desk and chair, white dresser, coffee table, and multiple plants
    via Patrick Perkins
  • Successful_Voice8542 Anytime he sends you a text outside of the group with your husband, make a screen shot and put it in the chat that includes your husband and respond that way. Every.Single. Time. Never respond just from you, even if it is to tell him to stop. He'll have to eventually give up trying to contact you alone. And definitely do a video call anytime he is around. If he knocks on your door, before you open it start a video call if your husband isn't available loop in a relative. He c
    via Successful_Voice8542
  • Grymflyk Are the mandatory inspections listed in the contract? If not, you can probably just refuse. It does seem like he is up to something and were it me, I would get out as soon as possible.
    via Grymflyk
  • kinkyrebelution NTA. My girl.....go right down to Department of Housing. They have laws you can enforce and will tell you what the landlord can and cannot do. Straight the man is a f\\king CREEP....and he's trying to catch you off guard, especially with your husband being miles away. If I were you I would make record of all of this, including video calls and voice recordings between the two of you (get another phone so you can also have your husband present on the phone at the same time). Presen
    via knkyrebelution
  • ReadMeDrMemory NTA. The landlord's behavior is outrageous. He has no right to prowl through the apartment. Film his tour and retain that recording. Object strongly and vocally to any behavior you find unacceptable, such as trying to rummage through your dresser. If you have one or more friends available to participate, all the better. And move out ASAP if you can.
    via ReadMeDrMemory
  • Icy-Mix-6550 NTA. I don't know about the laws in the Caribbean, but I'd be looking for a new place to live.
    via Icy-Mix-6550
  • International-Fee255 You need legal advice.
    via International-Fee255
  • Educational-While202 NTA but I think you will find it difficult to find anyone on reddit with knowledge of the "standard" rules for rentals in the Caribbean. FWIW, I think "monthly" inspections is too much, but without knowing what's normal, that's nothing more than an opinion. I would definitely have the visit recorded. But I would also be looking to see if I could get out of the lease a "broken light switch" is hardly major vandalism. He is seriously over- reacting if that even is the truth
    via Educational-While202
  • bathroomstallghost yall might have to find a new place. this dudes being weird!!
    via bathroomstallghost
  • NTA. Yearly Depression If I were you, I would speak to a lawyer familiar with tenant laws where you are located.
    via YearlyDepression
  • BeeFree66 You are not being an a-hole in turning on cameras when LL shows up. If you don't have another human with you, a camera is a useful backup. LL's behavior is on the creep side. I wouldn't want to be alone with LL anywhere. I wouldn't trust him to stay out if I'd just left to go run an errand - I suspect he'll go snoop around. His insisting on coming in to do a monthly "check" is not a good sign. A "broken light switch" doesn't merit this much attention - that's a dickee doo fix. Having t
    via BeeFree66

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